let the Son shine.

sleuthing for joy.

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:09:00 -0400

My Utmost for His Highest.

tenacity

Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance plus the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered. The greatest fear a man has is not that he will be damned, but that Jesus Christ will be defeated, that the things He stood for – love and justice and forgiveness and kindness among men – will not win out in the end. Then the call to spiritual tenacity comes, not to hang on and do nothing, but to [work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be defeated.]

If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means they are being purified. One of the greatest strains of life is the strain of waiting on God.

Dare 1: I dare you to be tenacious. To hold fast. To stand firm in faith that He has won, is winning, will win. Your God is not going to be defeated.

Scripture.

They exchanged their Glory for something disgraceful. Hosea 4:7

He gives us beauty in exchange for our ashes. Glory in exchange for our disgrace. And He’s not keeping track of the trade. He wants to clothe you in splendor, and when He revives you He says “off with those grave clothes”. It is finished; it is done. He’s made you a new creation. He already qualified you to share in this inheritance.

Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion. For this is what the Lord says: “You were sold for nothing, and without money you will be redeemed.” Isaiah 52:1-3

He has endowed you with splendor. Isaiah 60:9

The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah, for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. Isaiah 62:2-4

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27

For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory. Colossians 1:27 (NLT)

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

He holds our filthy hands in dark places and prays with us audacious prayers, then delights in the Father answering them. – Love Does

Dare 2: I dare you to believe what He says about you, and to pray audacious prayers. Ask Him for what you need. He won’t be offended. He wants your heart.

One Thousand Gifts.

Eucharisteo. [from the roots charis: grace and chara: joy]

Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the eucharisteo – the table of thanksgiving. The height of my joy is dependent on the depth of my thanks.

As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible.

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.” – Erasmus

Moving ink across the page opens up the eyes (John Piper) and I can drive out habits of fear, doubt, uncertainty, wavering faith with habits of eucharisteo, recording the story of the Lord’s faithfulness and His abundant blessings. Drive out Satan’s nails with grace nails.

“To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it. To name a thing, in other words, is to bless God for it and in it. Gratitude for the seemingly insignificant – a seed – this plants the giant miracle.” – Ann Voskamp

Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.

He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God. Psalm 50:23

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.P the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5

He forgives, heals, redeems, crowns, satisfies, and renews. All we are asked – and what a joy it is – is to praise Him. Bless Him by naming the blessings He’s poured out for us.

“Eucharisteo always precedes the miracle.” – Ann Voskamp

Thanksgiving opens our eyes to the ways He is already working. It remembers. It builds faith that He will continue to work.

“Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” Malachi 3:10

Dare 3: I dare you to try it. Bless the Lord, O my soul, by thanking Him for the little and the giant blessings, the visible and invisible ways He’s working in your life. It will re-focus the eyes of your heart upward, rather than inward. You will grow steady faith, and discover the well of joy.

And when you stand firm on the Truth that He is good, see the glory He has planted in you, and realize He has already blessed you abundantly, I promise (pinkies included) that you’ll overflow with joy.

HOLY SPIRIT = power.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:44:00 -0400

You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you. Acts 1:8

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. Romans 16:18

We know and rely on the love God has for us. 1 John 4:16

You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. Romans 6:18

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 1 Corinthians 4:20

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Is not the Lord your God with you? And has he not granted you rest on every side? 1 Chronicles 22:18

Then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters tone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. Job 11:15-18

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. Luke 10:19-20

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

Perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18

I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one. 1 John 2:14

So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:7

I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Malachi 3:6

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? Romans 8:31-33

You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear. Romans 8:15

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:7-8

The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. Deuteronomy 28:7

Was my arm too short to ransom you? Do I lack the strength to rescue you? Isaiah 50:2

Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:7

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4

In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant. Psalm 143:12

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

gambling your identity.

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:50:09 -0400

gambling your identity.

what is Love?

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 12:13:00 -0400

My God is:

rescuer. redeemer.

repairer of broken walls, restorer of streets with dwellings (Isaiah 58:12).

rehabilitator. renewal. rock. righteous.

rest. (Exodus 33:14).

victorious. jealous.

giver of life. breath into dry bones (Ezekiel 37:1-14).

Author of the Word that sustains me (Isaiah 46:4).

Creator. Potter (Isaiah 64:8).

present. Father. intimate. forgiver.

ready. patient. sincere. devoted.

perfect love.

…What is love, a word that loses weight in our language the way it gets thrown around?

This is the Love I know:

Love honors.

Love remembers, cherishes.

Love recognizes, calls by name.

Love values.

Love speaks life into being.

Love forgives.

Love does not question goodness.

Love trusts.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Love sacrifices.

Love is not self-seeking.

Love does not give so that it can receive; it just gives. Love gives first.

Love is gentle.

Love chooses to express itself despite how it feels.

Love does not withhold because of behavior.

Love manifests itself not only in words or speech, but in action and truth (1 John 3:18).

Love does no harm.

Loves secures.

Love stands firm.

Love roots and grounds.

Love plants seeds.

Love bows down, humbles itself.

Love looks and sees; it opens eyes.

Love whispers; love listens.

Love overlooks offenses.

Love is the first fruit.

Love does not discriminate.

Love is limitless; it knows no bounds.

Love colors outside the lines.

Love pursues.

Love holds together.

Love mends.

Love fights for what is good. Love conquers evil.

Love doesn’t affirm the power of the grave; it knows it’s been emptied of its power. Love has already won.

Love is not afraid and does not doubt.

Love does not tangle with anxiety.

Love displaces darkness, drives out fear, chases whimsy.

Love doesn’t need a plan; it’s on an adventure.

Love returns. Love moves towards.

Love reaches.

Love lingers.

Love is inexplicable, extraordinary.

Love never relents.

Love never ends.

Yosemite.

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 20:40:18 -0400

the parable of Yosemite.

On the way to the place He called me, I stopped a dozen times - I had to, I’d never seen such beauty. Yet that was only a glimpse; I could see only in part what He had in store. It took longer than originally planned to get to the valley, but I loved my journey. It’s not the path everyone travels, but its the one The Lord led me on, and He was with me every step of the way. His Spirit carried me forward when my body was content to stay where it was. If I didn’t follow His leading, I would have never gone all the way. I was content with what I had and how could I believe that what He was beckoning me towards could be more magnificent? My heart knew that the journey had only just begun, so I let go of the best I had seen, the good I was holding, to pursue what He promised is better. Better not only because it’s spilling with glory, not because I could see right away that it was better, but because He called me there.

The center of His will is always the best place to be, even if you don’t FEEL it at first. You may not feel it for a long long time, but your heart rests in peace because it knows. The satisfaction of walking in obedience to His will is always worth the sacrifice you must make to get there.

Sometimes we are blessed with feeling His goodness, tasting and seeing it, but on days when we simply eat the manna - the mystery - He tells us to TRUST His goodness. Trust His heart; He knows yours.

What He offers is better than all the bests you’ve acquired in your life and holds more promise than all you must hold loosely to follow Him. He can see what you can’t and He is a good God.

If what you’re letting go of is what He has for you, it will be here when you get back. His purpose will stand, His will cannot be thwarted.

Whatever He’s calling you to - hit the ground running towards it. Let nothing take your gaze off of Him. Delight yourself in The Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). You may be surprised to find that He knows your heart’s desires better than you do.

eucharisteo.

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:55:00 -0400

“There’s a reason I’m not writing the story, God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. The holes of my life can be see-to-God places. I can choose to live as one filling with His grace, choose to say yes to all that He freely gives. When I am despairing, I can choose to live as the Israelites gathering manna. For forty long years, God’s people ate manna daily - a substance whose name literally means “what is it?” Hungry, they chose to gather that which is baffling. They fill on that which has no meaning.

More than 14,600 days they take their daily nourishment from that which they don’t comprehend.

They find soul-filling in the inexplicable.

They eat the mystery.

And the mystery, that which made no sense, is “like wafers of honey” on the lips.

- Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

This book is teaching me a lot about how we can find God in the inexplicable, and find joy in the uneasiness of not knowing so many things. We give thanks. Thanks for the beautiful moments, thanks for the hard ones.

“At the table, “Jesus gave thanks, broke the bread, and gave it to his disciples.” The original translation of “He gave thanks” is eucharisteo, derived from charis, meaning grace, and chara, meaning joy. Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the eucharisteo - the table of thanksgiving. Eucharisteo - thanksgiving - always precedes the miracle.”

Ann Voskamp took the challenge of writing down one thousand gifts from God’s hand - one thousand things she’s thankful for - and the numbers on the page became a habit of praise. I want to live that way, to always have thanks on my lips.

Thank You Father for offering higher expectations; for raising our low expectations of what you can do to new heights.

Thank You for holes in the clouds where Heaven pours through and fills my thirsty soul.

Thank You for cornfields, almond butter & jam sandwiches, park benches, a newborn baby’s chest rising and falling on mine, friends that bring dinner in a time of need. Thank you for earthly love, a way to feel You in the embrace of Your people. Thank You for silly children’s books with “thneeds” and Velveteen Rabbits.

Thank You for the questions, which keep me constantly seeking You, thirsting for You. Thank You for being big enough that I can pound on Your chest when I’m frustrated and yell too loud and walk away, and You’re always there when I turn around. Thank You for your Word, which speaks louder than the enemy and puts him in his place when he whispers ‘failure’ or ‘lost sheep’ in my ear. Thank You that your love never fails. The pitfalls, misery, and poverty of this world do not contradict the truth that You are good, You are in control, Your love cannot fail. Your ways and thoughts are higher than mine, and nothing is amiss. Nothing has escaped You.

Thank You for parables spoken and Truth revealed in Your handiwork in nature. Thank You for peace in order, like perfectly aligned crop fields stretching on for miles, for You are not a God of disorder but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33).

Thank You for pursuing me with Love all the days of my life.

Thank You for adopting us in love as sons and daughters, for grafting us into Your family and setting the example for us. Thank You that I can talk to you anywhere and You know my name, hear my prayers. Thank You that the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with Your will (Romans 8:27).

Thank You that I don’t have to have all the answers, because You make all things work together for my good. I don’t have to fit the jagged puzzle pieces together; You soften the edges and sew them in with grace and a steady hand. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:5)

Thank You that You will fulfill Your purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever. You will not abandon the works of Your hands. (Psalm 138:8)

Thank You that I’m called according to Your purpose, not my own. (Romans 8:28)

I don’t know so many things, but I know that He is still working. And in Him I place my hope. Do not abandon the works of Your hands, Lord. Moses kept right on going - he persevered - because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible (Hebrews 11:27). Thank You for hope I can stand on and for sustaining me on the mystery.

Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? Romans 8:24

Called.

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:21:00 -0400

Dear beloved friends and family,

As many of you know, I’m on a daily journey of discovering the way God wants to use my life. When I graduated from UF seven months ago, I moved to Georgia on faith, feeling called to serve refugees through World Relief.

By faith Abraham, when called to a place he would later receive as an inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. - Hebrews 11:8

I’ve witnessed incredible work by the hand of God in my short time in Georgia: mountains moved, faith grown, families made, love discovered, comfort found. Precious people fleeing for their lives placed in a home and given rest for their weary souls. I’ve watched Him write redemption and hope into stories of people from every continent - stories of lives bruised and tattered, struck down but not destroyed, held together by grace, avalanched by love. And I’ve discovered something fascinating, a fact that has changed my life: despite our drastic differences, we have something to offer each other. Something stronger than understanding and more healing than forgetting: presence.

That which pulls us together - our hearts, our ability to love - will always overpower that which threatens to alienate us from each other. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:8)

All the while, my heart has been taken captive by the faces and stories of imprisoned children in Uganda.

Those two words should never be neighbors: imprisoned and children; but due to the relentless destruction of corrupt governments, wars, poverty, AIDS, and other factors, the most vulnerable of God’s children end up in desolate dark places.

Government facilities called “remand centers” exist throughout the continent of Africa. These facilities were created for children who have committed a crime. The homes are overcrowded and horribly underfunded. The living conditions are shocking. The worst part is this - the vast majority of the children in these facilities have not committed any crime. Mostly, they are children who are simply unwanted. They are street beggars who have been rounded up by the police, unwanted children who have been dropped off by a stepparent, handicapped and mentally disabled orphans and orphaned refugees fleeing war torn countries in Africa.

Sixty Feet was created to bring hope and healing to these children through the love of Jesus Christ. We are improving the facilities by providing clean water, sanitation, bedding, clothing, medical care, nutritious food and school fees. We are also working to remove the most vulnerable children and place them in a loving, safe environment. (sixtyfeet.org)

I will be joining Sixty Feet in their mission to bring hope and restoration to the imprisoned children of Uganda. As a member of the team - His hands and feet to these little ones - I will have the privilege to assist with child sponsorship and justice work, teach preschool, bathe and hold the hands of children whose lives look so different than mine. I hope to be their voice and tell their stories, to love them with every fiber of my being. To be present with them and love them where they are, praying and working towards the vision that they won’t be there forever.

As my friend Bob Goff says, “The kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It’s a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright… It’s more about presence than undertaking a project. It’s a brand of love that doesn’t just think about good things, or agree with them, or talk about them… Love does.”

If you would like to support the work of Sixty Feet and my time serving in this ministry, you may visit my personal fundraising page:
https://co.clickandpledge.com/sp/d1/default.aspx?wid=66075

The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” - Matthew 25:40

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” - Matthew 19:14

I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. - John 14:18

“In Jesus’ life and mission we see what compassion means. It is not bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there.”
Henri Nouwen

Yahweh.

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 23:29:00 -0400

Yahweh Yahweh, great is Your glory, You go before me.

yah·weh
Noun
A form of the Hebrew name of God used in the Bible. The name came to be regarded by Jews (c.300 bc) as too sacred to be spoken.
Meaning: “He causes to be”; “He creates”.

The moments that make up my days are so rich I can hardly stand it. God is so good. He’s good even when I don’t feel it, but these showers of blessings fill me to the brim with thanksgiving and joy.

Little pleasures like sitting on a tree in the middle of a wood, somewhere we can’t be found. Peanut butter and jelly and the windows rolled down. Sneaking out the back door with four of my favorite kiddos; tackle football in the grass, swinging and twirling sweet baby girl around. Tattered hand-me-down sweatshirts and pajamas with boots.

Comfort like a pile of tangled limbs on the couch watching a movie, kid food wrappers littering our laps. Brandon’s fingers entwined in mine, Bella a bundle in my arms and me a bundle in his. Joy like Aidan’s explosive laughter when he beat his 24-year-old partner in CandyLand. Bella peeking around the corner until I look, then giggling and scurrying off again.

The fullness of my heart as I love those kids like they’re mine. Reading Brown Bear & Goodnight Moon. Rocking Bella to sleep singing praises over her, because she’s going to know she’s loved relentlessly. Squeezing the boys tight as I can, kissing them goodnight.

Forehead and nose kisses, which say “you’re precious to me.” There’s no greater feeling than to know you are treasured; valued; your life is sacred. It energizes you to be fully yourself, gives you confidence in your skin. It calms you down, stops the buzzing of your mind and invites you to be still, to soak it in. It fills you up so you can pour right back out. There is power in your love.

He leads me to water for He knows I’m thirsty.

They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts; he made water flow for them from the rock; he split the rock and water gushed out. Isaiah 48:21

And I know the goodness of His blessings has only begun to shower down. Heaven is coming. Bring on the rain.

Transitions

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:04:24 -0500

Transitions:

by Caroline Hament

Times of transitions are often bridges of sadness of what’s left behind us, uncertainty of what’s ahead of us, and bitterness of the woozy path under our feet.

As we forge across these bridges of life, time twists and tricks. Sometimes daylight scorches the earth and refuses to recede, sucking us dry and leaving us bare. Other times thick darkness slides surprisingly swiftly over the path of sunshine it has overlapped, as a frozen blanket of sheer emptiness. The days are long and the nights are short, but the nights are long and the days are short. As we are caught in the middle of this bridge, second guesses sneak towards us from both ends, and doubts sink into our hearts. We forget our purpose and question our worth.

In this place, let us not focus on the height of the bridge and the drop below us, the missing slats in the way slung ahead of us, the uneven pavement on the road in front of us, or the weathered gnarls crawling underneath us. Instead, like the rushing water beneath us and the fierce wind beside us, let us move forward, as creation is meant to do. Let us continue on, one stepping stone to the next until we reach the other side. In fact, sometimes all we need to do is take our eyes off of our feet on the bridge and look over the side at the dangerous yet glorious expanse around us. There lies the easily overlooked beauty of the journey.

Every bridge has an ending at a new beginning, and as we ask for the peace and confidence to make it to the other side, God will guide us there.

After all, He built the bridge.

"There’s always more grace than fear, than questions, than uncertainty, than shame, than scars,..."

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 20:22:00 -0500

“

There’s always more grace than fear, than questions, than uncertainty, than shame, than scars, than weariness, than things to do, than burdens we carry, than loss. More power in Heaven than hell. More power in life than death and light than darkness.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for The Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7

”

"In Jesus’ life and mission we see what compassion means. It is not bending toward the..."

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 10:37:19 -0500

fingerprints.

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 22:23:00 -0500

fingerprints.

They tell a story all by themselves.

Anointed and blessed are my days. His fingerprints are all over them.

This week began in a 15-passenger van packed with 8 languages and 7 eager faces ready to put their best foot forward. Hours and interviews later, I’d picked up new words in each language and forgot for a moment that people actually get paid to do this. I love teaching our clients and learning from them; the city is our classroom and it always feels like recess.

I love racing a child on his tricycle in the rickety WR van; rearranging carseats and buckling kids; making faces when words are few, lost in translation and teaching me to value the quiet. I love feeling like a mom as we adopt every person in love, as Christ adopted me. I love realizing that we’ve moved from strangers to family.

Looking through pictures of the refugee camp, S’s whole family, and his best friend’s wedding, my heart does not pity but rather swells as I see in his eyes that these are good memories, and this new season is good too. It’s amazing what our eyes can communicate without a word from our lips.

I love how much I’m learning and how much I still don’t know - about people, God, the world and its stories -and the hunger for more.

I love authentic Ethiopian food, eaten only with your hands, and the way I speak refugee on accident these days.

I love the story that unfolds over three glasses of peach punch around the dining table. The one that I’m so careful not to ask about. I love that the laughter is more powerful than the pain and loss - which are being redeemed. He is already made new, restored; he’s just figuring it out one day at a time.

Today I helped one of my favorite people apply for jobs, spent time looking at a map, meandered the international farmers market, wrote a letter in spanrwali (a delightful language that fits me perfectly - Spanish, Kinyarwanda, & Swahili), and tucked away a few smiles. I love those moments - when you don’t want the other person to know how much they make you smile so you wait until they’re not looking to let it light up your face. It’s a special kind of secret with God, and He smiles with me.

These are good days. He is in the details.

Into this suffering & injustice, God pitches His tent.

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 19:25:25 -0500

Into this suffering & injustice, God pitches His tent.:

The angel of The Lord encamps around those who fear them, and he delivers them. - Psalm 34:7

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:28:55 -0500

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"I don’t wonder anymore what I’ll tell God when I go to heaven when we sit in the chairs..."

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 18:54:37 -0500

““I don’t wonder anymore what I’ll tell God when I go to heaven when we sit in the chairs under the tree, outside the city……..I’ll tell these things to God, and he’ll laugh, I think and he’ll remind me of the parts I forgot, the parts that were his favorite. We’ll sit and remember my story together, and then he’ll stand and put his arms around me and say, “well done,” and that he liked my story. And my soul won’t be thirsty anymore. Finally he’ll turn and we’ll walk toward the city, a city he will have spoken into existence a city built in a place where once there’d been nothing. ””

- Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

Moments.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 02:13:39 -0500

I’ve never been a five year plan kind of girl. I used to see that as a flaw, like I was missing some clue everyone else received, but now I realize what a blessing it is that God made me this way. To live for moments. It keeps me ever-focused on the revelation of His glory, and keeps me praying fervently for Him to lead me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. - Psalm 31:3

Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it. - Luke 10:23-24

Like the boy in the Polar Express, I experience things that people around me don’t perceive sometimes. Little things - they’re my big things.

I see the smile light up Leela Maya’s eyes when I draw her shy children, new to this country and its foreign everything, out of their apartment to chase balloons in the sunshine. I feel the warmth of Belisha’s back as I do the spider crawl up to tickle her, trying to console her after pokes and prods at the refugee clinic. I rejoice that there happens to be a bandaid in my wallet to cover the teeny drop of blood resting on her arm - the arm she’s got propped up as if a grizzly took a bite.

[Lord, you made me to be a mother. It’s in the fiber of my being, to nurture. Oh, humbled I am for such a worthy calling.]

Moments.

It’s the taste of chicken fingers, messes made by little fingers, & building a fort tunnel out of sofa cushions. It’s racing a tricycle in cowboy boots and footy pajamas sullied from rolling down the hill. It’s three pairs of feet dangling off the hood of the car and finding shapes in clouds. It’s rocking a little one to sleep in my arms - his body folding up perfectly like that’s where he was made to be; like my arms were created for that very purpose. To have and to hold.

It’s kissing little cheeks and that early stage when they giggle at everything and always outshine your smile. It’s windows down, arms out, music cranked up. It’s trying not to laugh when your English is too fast and your new friend can’t catch up, so he scrunches his face and says “WOT?” and your heart melts.

It’s accidentally falling in love. With a person, a country, an idea, a calling, and the God who created them all. The One who creates these moments. The One who weaves them together and writes our stories. (With a steady hand, a purpose in every moment. Don’t you ever forget there is purpose in your moments.)

“You are a tree in a story about a forest, and the story of the forest is greater than the story of the tree.” - Donald Miller

It’s laughing at how the Lord’s hand is always holding me and my plans. How the more time I spend with Him, the less I need plans, just Presence. I can’t escape His grace, His immeasurable favor and the intentionality with which He places me in situations every day. He knows my heart. He knows my prayers before I whisper them, before they’re even on my tongue.

We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you. - 1 Thessalonians 1:3-4

I think I’ll keep living a life measured by moments rather than defined by plans. One step at a time. Moments define our lives. Open your eyes; be aware so you don’t miss it.

like coming home.

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 02:56:22 -0500

Presence.

Sometimes words aren’t necessary. Sometimes a hug or a held hand says more than my words can express. Love is a universal language.

Once upon a yesterday, there was a little girl in a windowsill, peering out shyly and chewing on a marker. I waved her outside and she cracked the door open to examine me, then closed it again when I said hello. On second thought, maybe she will come out. Maybe the unknown world outside has more to offer than the world she knows inside her apartment. She took a risk opening the door again, and I was all in.

I still do not know her name, but He calls her Beloved, so that works for me. I don’t know where she came from or what language she speaks. I don’t know how difficult her story is or what her young eyes have seen. I don’t know in what or whom she places her hope, or if she hopes at all. Lord, please let her be filled with hope. The one thing I do know is that she understands and can receive Love. That is where our two worlds embraced.

I cautiously took her by the hand and led her toward the field of kids playing soccer. I took a chance on picking her up, [and she let me]. She seemed the quiet type, so instead of the loud clubhouse with activities I grabbed a balloon and found a place outside where the two of us could play. I showed her how to make a game of tossing it in the air, [and she smiled]. Then there was the clown show. I put her on my lap, [and she stayed]. She wrapped her arm around mine and looked up at me laughing when I tickled her. She leaned into me, and I soaked it in. Do you know the feeling of holding a child and sensing their comfort in your arms? Its an incredible gift from the Lord.

Eventually the clowns ran out of magic and the kids each got a cupcake before going home. This beloved child stuck her face in and came up with a mouthful of icing, [and I smiled]. She dropped crumbs all over me and smeared chocolate into my clothes, [and I let her], because she was in my arms. I set her down for a moment and a little girl bearing resemblance to B walked up and took her by the hand to lead her home. [and I stayed]. I wanted to keep her, to stay in that moment longer, but I took mental snapshots of the moments we shared and promised myself I would tell her story. I just know its a good one, because I know the One who is writing it, and He cares enough about us both to bring us together yesterday. I will learn B’s name, what family she has, and what makes her smile. I will be intentional with the people He places in front of me, because that is how we spread love - one person at a time.

We learn love from Him, just by being in His presence. He tenderly takes us by the hand and leads us. He wraps His arms around us. He smiles down on us and calls us Beloved and loves us first. He stays. He always, always stays. And He cares about every story. He cherishes our moments of intimacy with Him and eagerly watches our hearts grow. He knocks and invites us to know Him more, and to be known by Him.

I thank God that He is allowing me to be in this place at this time, and as He brings me great joy I pray that my life is bringing Him glory. He is teaching me how to love in action, here in the absence of words. Teaching me the power of presence. My heart’s desire is to be so filled with the Spirit that I overflow; that when people are in my presence, they feel His presence, and it’s like coming home.

He waits on my return.

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 00:59:00 -0500

(inspired by Hannah Katy’s most recent post, here: http://hannahbrencher.com/2012/12/11/and-hes-been-waiting-on-my-return-to-load-the-shingles-with-icing-and-guard-the-doors-with-candy-canes/ )

I sometimes find myself feeling far from God and have to remind myself that He never left. It was I who walked away - tried to slip quietly out the back door. I felt the weight of my shortcomings (which God doesn’t keep a tally of, by the way - Love keeps no record of wrongs) and extremely unworthy of love. I grew impatient with the unfulfillment of my plans and my inability to see how it could all be working together for my good. So I left. Shut the door. Stopped listening to the knocking on my heart, and eventually stopped hearing. I indulged thoughts that descended into hopelessness rather than rising to the good hope that my Father promises.

Then in a moment, I realized I didn’t want to stay there. The valleys, they’re painful and lonely and we hope they serve a purpose, but we were never meant to stay in the pit. The valley of the shadow of death is meant for overcoming, not abiding. We were made for glory.

So I rise, because He is able to make me rise. He always waits on my return.

“He knows my footwork well; knows that I bruise easily and that I frustrate when I cant see His plans and all the things He has for me. He knows I need to be reassured - that I am His, I am loved, I am needed. He created me with purpose. I am loved by Him vastly, openly, always and always. Even when I don’t love myself, He loves me well.” - Hannah Katy

He doesn’t tally mark my mistakes. He washes over me with grace and says “calm your anxious heart”, then lets me watch as He weaves the hiccups together flawlessly. He already knew the steps I would stumble, the scars I’d gather, the dust I’d scatter. And still He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That truth is not stuck in the beginning, when a lack of blemishes gave the appearance of perfection. It is not reserved for the future, when the work in me will be brought to completion. It is not meant for someone else. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even in the valleys.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11

The word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. Psalm 33:4

By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. 1 Corinthians 15:10

Let out the breath you’ve been holding for so long, and take heart! The Creator of Heaven and love and sunsets and new life does not make mistakes. His hand didn’t slip when He made you. The cracks have a purpose. Your weaknesses make room for His strength. Your victories testify to His ability, and your beauty marks reflect His glory. Your face reflects His. Your heart is a portrait of His love. Your plans can align with His purposes - your role is not to create and strive, but to pray and listen. You’re walking a path He laid out for you in advance, and there will be times you need to be carried. He won’t be surprised; He’ll scoop you up with strong loving arms.

His hands do not quiver or shake. His voice does not stutter. He does not doubt - EVER - because He knows. He is not plagued by insecurity and He doesn’t have to pause life to figure things out. He is not overwhelmed by the questions. HE KNOWS, and He reveals to us when we need to know. He sustains us by faith when we don’t. Even when we feel like we don’t know anything at all, our hearts find rest because one truth remains: He is good, all the time.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

He will never ever EVER fail you, because He is Love and Love is His full-time job. He doesn’t quit pursuing, shaping, or knowing you.

“So be still, and know that I am God. Put your faith in Me, and I will calm the storms in you. I’ll make the mountains move. Let go of loneliness and hold My hand instead. Let go of anxiety and let me fill you with peace. Let go of the need to prove something and just learn to love. Let me make you into the one I created you to be, rather than trying to become someone impressive for Me. I love you in the middle of your mess, and I will love the mess out of you. Let go of your little thoughts of Me. Let go and let Me be God. You weren’t meant to carry such heavy burdens of responsibility. My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Go in freedom. I’m taking care of you.”

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

"When we hate, we just say to the world that we’re not loved. When we’re racist, we just..."

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 23:16:28 -0500

“When we hate, we just say to the world that we’re not loved.
When we’re racist, we just say to the world that we don’t feel the full acceptance of our Maker, who has made every person on this planet in His beautiful image.
When we’re not accepting of someone because of their faults, we’re saying to the world that we don’t understand that God graciously accepted us in spite of all of our faults.”

- Louie Giglio

"His love is stronger than the things which make me undeserving of it."

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 00:34:31 -0500

““His love is stronger than the things which make me undeserving of it.””

- Paul Washer